It's My Early Birthday Message

My dearest Maura,


Hi little sister! Ate Erika's staying up late tonight. Initially, for no apparent reason. But I thought of you.

I've been thinking of doing this -- just now that I actually had the time to face my desktop and open this blog again.

To begin with: heart check?

11:20 am 06/08/13

You replied:

"Falling"

#Ehem

First, I want to say THANK YOU. We've been friends for more or less six years now. (Oh no! Oh yes.. we're growing old together. Hahaha.) And this friendship has grown a lot more stronger than ever. (Oh my gosh. I might get emotional in a while. Lol.)

And yes, for a little throwback here. HAHAHA.

You are four years younger than I am, though we know for a fact that others mistakenly think you are only and will always be a twelve-year-old, I have always admired you for how you get things done. You know how to calm down your Ate Erika. You know how to neutralize my extremities, counterattack my pessimism, narrow down my choices, understand all absurdity, and deal with my bipolarity. You're a patient little sister, dear. I know you love me so much, you won't get sick of me even if we get stuck with each other today and forever doing random stuff like shopping, dreaming, and ranting over all our souls' frustrations. Haha! THANK YOU. I thank God for you.

I've been taking you through my life's journey -- through my ups and downs, my confessions and confusions, and my winning moments of love and life. And you're just there, sitting next to me while eating chocolates and all other sweets, or drinking McCafe, bearing with my cyclical, too detailed and endless stories, then silently laughing, turning red, crying! Oh how cute you really are! Hahaha. Priceless UBE moments, eh?

Still, there are things you have yet to know about me. And as I've told you, you'll know them in time. But I'm thankful enough for how far we have come to know each other. I always learn from you -- learning nuggets of truths I have long forgotten. May our days together be more meaningful as we walk through our God's destined journey. (MLC Forever na 'to dude! Haha!)

ANYWAY.

Have you by this time realized the reason behind this piece? Ok. Fine. Honestly, you are not scaring the hell out me. Nuh-uh. Not to that extent. But I think -- I just don't want to admit how unprepared I am to let go of you anytime soon, little sister.

10:25 am 01/07/13

You texted:

"Pasalamat ka i love you and i value your happiness.

I think ganun naman talaga mga baby sister. Selfish.

Pero in the end naman it's not about us.

You go wherever your heart leads you.

I'll always be here to listen, to walk behind, 

more than willing to be the third wheel.

That's how much i love you. And that's how much i am willing

to accept anyone, eventually love anyone, you love. >:)<"

Oh again, with my *tears*..

Here me out this time.

I'm sorry, baby Mau. I would never want to dictate anything. But I think, big sisters act this way because that's how they are suppose to. We are in nature, protective. You know me too well -- I'm opinionated. And I have to say things I have to. But when it all comes down to you and your heart, one thing I don't want to happen: I don't want you get hurt.

Yes, I know it's inevitable. And it's actually necessary to get hurt. And that I have to let you do things on your own and let you learn, and blah blah blah.. .. but your Ate Erika's still in the process of trying to accept possible changes. I am foreseeing things not imbued in my system. I'm sounding selfish here, I know. Still I always end up thinking of you. I've seen you break down and cry -- it broke my heart. I don't want that to happen again.

However, there is a big BUT.

I told you -- I have always admired you. I know you can handle things well. I won't recommend HOPELINE this time. You don't need that. Haha. I want you to always PRAY. Okay? And give me a ring whenever you need to. If you are to fall, fall gracefully. If you are to fall, let someone catch you -- someone strong enough to get a grip on you. Kung wala talaga, ako na! Si Ate Erika na. Isasama ko pa si Ate Larvie! Para pag nalaglag ka, sabay-sabay tayong tatawa na lang. Ok? :)

Oh well! Whatever course you take, I am with you. Whoever you choose, I will be.. uhmm.. to be fair.. I will be kind. Haha. Lols. But seriously, at the end of the day, I'm just here to back you up, to give you a tap on the back for jobs well done, to push you forward in reaching your dreams, and to welcome you with open arms when you need comfort.

Ate Erika loves you soooo much! Always remember that, ok? Here's to more years of McDo bonding, loving, and hugging underwater. ♥

Yes to early birthday messages. But no to early birthday blues. Ok? HAHA.

I love you. I miss you. God bless you always! :*


xoxo,

Ate Erika