Repent.

"Remember, Man is dust, and unto dust he shall return." —Genesis 3:19

It is once again a season of penance.

Do you think people were as excited as much as they were for Christmas and Valentine’s Day? Personally, were you? Have you prepared enough for this season? Just like how you went crazy hitting up the mall sales before Christmas? Or how you got anxious for days thinking how you’d spend Valentine’s day? For those people who wouldn’t think much of its core meaning, it is just the season for fasting and abstinence, and when a lot of people seemingly get lonelier. Or worse, they wouldn’t care about it at all.

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Season of Lent. Christians would have to receive ashes on their foreheads – and this symbolizes the very first step of reconciliation for the season. It is a day when you fast and abstain. Fasting refers to the religious observance of eating only one full meal in a day while abstinence refers to refraining one’s self from eating meat. These practices are observed on Ash Wednesday and on Good Friday, and optionally for all Fridays of Lent. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is also greatly encouraged.

The passion and suffering of Christ is remembered for the whole season.  The Church emphasizes on the importance of giving respect to the divinity of His life of sufferings. There are certain rituals and practices done by the Catholic Church that encourage the faithful to payback His sacrifices by effortly offering one’s time, prayer, and sacrifice too.

These are only some of the basics you should know about this special Wednesday. It is in one’s heart where you should find the willingness to know more about the deeper meaning of the symbols and practices there are for the Season of Lent. It is a way of glorifying Him – to rush and seek for answers, and to spend time for reflections, just as how you sincerely and happily prepare for gifts during Christmas and Valentine’s. Give some time for Him. Give Him your gift of love and sacrifice.

This is only a question: Have you spared time to go and celebrate mass on this holy day? Or has the world gone very demanding that it made it impossible for you to give a little of your time for your Christian duty? If it it is YES with your whole heart and soul that you have, then good for you. You know you are blessed. If it is a NO – then brother, repent.

Remember this:

“Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.” —Mark 1:15

An Untitled Poem of Rejection

February 20, 2012

This isn't about a man. 

This might be about love. But it doesn't necessarily mean a certain WHO caused me such pain. I could do nothing about my tears but turn them into words. I couldn't think of a title... so let's just leave it that way.

The warm teardrops from the depths of pain
Flowing down from my sad eyes and broken heart
The promises of suffering from expectations
Had I not forgotten to remind my soul,
Could I have prepared my iron shield
Had I reminded myself of the past,
Could I have known what was next


As high as a skyscraper is pride
With all varied chances left unseen
Is what the blind and shallow mind's intent
Now drifting from the sea of possibilities
Left with nothing, not even hope
These tears push it to more sinking
How is it possible to ascend and see the sun?


It is such a big query of time and fortune
For both deserving and lost beings
For worldly matters tie with convention
My lonely soul dies to seek an answer
For the why's and when's of this life
I divert not my attention from such purpose
For the empty soul seeks the necessary


I wish not to withdraw from my faith
This sulking heart would fly by night
And my mighty God would save me
For He and only in Him would I know
The divine reason for these circumstances
The fleeting hope of my sullen being
Will soon be healed by His wings of love.

Unofficially Wanted to be Yours

I will never consider myself as an excommunicated being - whether at times by chance or by choice - for I truly know that I am a well-loved person. I got friends, and the best of them too. Although admittedly, there are times that I would prefer doing certain things on my own. I'm sure you know the feeling of being independent, wanting not to be disturbed, proving you can do something, and realizing that you can be more productive when you're alone. The truth is, being alone sometimes feels good.

Just as yesterday when I determinedly walked out of the house to see a movie alone again, (the first time I did it was because I selfishly didn't want anyone to be "kilig" for Toni Gonzaga but me and only me. Haha.) a friend of mine wanted to see the movie too so she tagged along. (See? I told you I got friends. What can I say, I'm loved.) We watched a local romantic comedy film entitled Unofficially Yours where John Lloyd Cruz portrayed a guy who fell in love with the kind of aloof character of Angel Locsin. And the usual formula happened in the movie where the guy met the girl, they had lovely moments together, they fell in love, a problem occurred, they resolved it, and then came the happily-ever-after ending everyone always wanted to see.

While watching the movie, we kept on noticing everything about Angel Locsin - from the color and style of her hair, down to her flashy red high-heeled shoes - for being amazed by how she carried herself and for wanting to imitate her as well. However, I was secretly pondering on how I was seeing myself in her character. The girl was a little emotionally distant. She set a boundary and had the guy agree to just a shallow, casual, sexual relationship. And it only appeared that it was fear that what hindered her from taking their relationship seriously. Yes, she had a strong feminine character. She had a family but she acted tough, independent, alone but lonely.

And since I'm a person who is most of the time unpredictable because I can be in both extremes, I'm now a little uncertain of where I stand. I have a long list of the things I want to accomplish. And I can clearly see the things I need to do on my own. These are my goals. And honestly, wanting for or having a lover is not in my list. My best friend actually asked me about it, "How do you see yourself in the future?" And I told her that I couldn't foresee myself being married, or being in a relationship at least. Isn't it a little selfish? I want self-actualization. And for now, I want to do things alone.

Contrary to this, I have been open for quite a while that I'm also waiting for a "special someone" in my life. When it's me turning into a hopeless romantic, I'd openly tell my friends that I want to be in a relationship again, unconsciously thinking if I earnestly mean what I say and if I really am and completely ready for it.

Fear would perpetually be present in me, and I know that I have to religiously try to overcome them everyday. The first I had was a traumatic experience. And until now, I have been living with its legacy: a great wall was built from such era and it's barring the chances in front of me and still, I have been opting not to break the ground all this time. 

Being in a relationship means taking a great risk of getting hurt big time just for the sake of your happiness. And as for me, I won't deny - I want to be loved again by someone whom I would love in return. But there are things I still want to do and I still need to finish. And having a relationship at the same time wouldn't help me to make it happen.

Today, I want to be in a relationship. And most probably tomorrow, I would drain away such thought and would go on happily living my life as it is right now. See how bipolar I am?

And for you my soon-to-be-partner-or-lover, I'm sorry but it's still unofficial. I unofficially want to be yours. 

♥♥♥

  

It's A Little Need

Sometimes, when I feel like writing, my mind seems to get lost of the right words to use the moment I ink my empty paper. But my heart keeps telling me that I NEED to write and I have to go on.

And sometimes, I really have nothing to say. My thoughts just flow incessantly and words get all mixed up so I get rattled with what to really write about. Do you know how it feels when what you only want is to make a sense of it all? And it turns out, you just can't write it down? Or simply, you just can't?

This one's a piece of a nonsense. But I can't stop myself from writing it down. Maybe because, I need this. I need to write again - whether it's "something" or just a crap. But of course, it would be better if I could make something great out of this - something you and I would understand.

I'm looking forward to write more. And most importantly, to write with a sense - that would make me (or my readers, if there is any) learn and realize something essential in life.