Success Story

How do you sum up almost 12 years of memories in a thousand words?

I don’t even know where to start.

 

(Okay, it took me a considerable amount of time staring blankly into space before writing these next lines.)

 

Let me tell you about what my boss describes as a “success story.”

 

Back in early 2012, I was at my grandma’s watching TV when I happened to switch on to a new channel, Solar News, that would later be known as CNN Philippines. That time, it was airing the impeachment of then Supreme Court Justice Renato Corona. Also, that time, I had just resigned from my first job as an English language instructor. I quit because I was yearning for the thrill of working in the media, of putting up a production event – running errands, coordinating, writing, and hosting. So, when I saw that news channel – I knew I wanted to work there. Even though I wasn’t really into news and current affairs – I told myself, why not give it a shot?

 

I applied for a production assistant post. Seeing how I answered the essays, the HR officer that time urged me to try for a writing position instead. However, I wasn’t confident of my skills, and I was apprehensive about newswriting. I wanted to first know how things worked around the newsroom before I’d play with words. It was in June of that year that I got the job. Boy, was I excited! I met new friends and learned new things. I collated scripts and operated the teleprompter. Few times I’d be tapped to assist in a shoot outside the office or in town halls held in universities. It was tiring but it felt good! It was a dream come true. God gave me what I prayed for.

 

I was still a P.A. when I first encountered THE Pia Hontiveros. I was starstruck. She first called me “an angel” for bringing her coffee in the studio – that’s before she even asked what my name was. But I won’t forget the day I felt terrified when she stormed into the control room to reprimand me for messing up with the teleprompter. I burst into tears right after she left the room. That was just one of the bad days I would have.

 

Being a P.A. was fulfilling but I wanted more. After over a year, I officially became a news writer. Funny thing was – for some reason, I had to go through the application process three times! (At one point, my papers were among the documents that got lost when an HR officer’s bag was stolen.) I can go on and on and tell you more about what happened during and after this period, but that’ll take forever. I’m sure, however, that in between, there was nonstop writing, more crying, trying, almost quitting, and trying again. That cycle repeated until the very end.

 

Of all my promotions, the offer for an executive producer post troubled me the most. It was January of 2019 when our then SVP called me to his office to tell me the news. I left his room overwhelmed and shocked. I did sign the papers, but I thought – I couldn’t do it… I should’ve just turned down the offer! What if I’d fail? What would I do next? I kept overthinking! I kid you not – I got sick that same night. It felt like I suddenly stepped into a different ball game, and I just wasn’t ready.

 

I knew it was the inevitable – that promotion meant taking the helm of the network’s flagship primetime newscast, anchored by THE Pia Hontiveros. From being a P.A. of the 6PM show, I would now be the EP of it. What a full circle moment, right? But I looked past that milestone – and became a worrier.

 

A little over a year after, a pandemic would bring the world to a standstill – and it meant producing the show from home. Believe it or not, it came to a point where Pia would ask the bosses to help me – nope, to replace me. I found out about it and had a heart-to-heart talk with her over the phone. Bosses, including the company president, came into the picture to train me. There were days when I would wail in my room out of fury and frustration. But cut the story short, I eventually pulled through. I earned my anchor, my bosses, and my team’s trust. News Night went on to become one of the top-rated shows of the network.

 

The real “success story” behind all of this, however, is not merely of my own doing.

 

If not for my mentors who taught me how to read beyond the headlines, I wouldn’t be able to dig deeper and put context to the stories I write. They taught me things I needed to learn not just about our jobs as journalists, but life in general. They believed in me even if I didn’t believe in myself. They showed me how to lead, and for a few others, how not to be like them. I also had colleagues who were kind enough to guide and help me. Some of them inspired and pushed me to do better. I had teammates who shared the same passion and goal to do things right. And, of course, I found friends amidst the chaos of a newsroom to help me get through any day.

 

If not for these people – bosses, producers, writers, engineering colleagues, and more – who threw their plans out the window one Friday night in 2015, the network wouldn’t be able to break the news on the death of a former Maguindanao governor. CNN Philippines wouldn’t be able to mount an award-winning debate if its relatively small team did not work day in and day out for it. We wouldn’t be able to produce a newscast where the anchor was locked up in her room and had nothing but a cellphone and a tripod, if we didn’t try what we all thought was impossible at the height of a pandemic.

 

CNN Philippines became one of the trusted news networks in the country because of the people who worked diligently to tell the story of the Filipino, to deliver news Filipinos could use and trust. No matter what other people say, I’m proud of what we have achieved.

 

If you are still reading at this point, you would probably think I’m just blabbering away. Well, maybe I am. Maybe it’s because I’m crying again, missing my daily routine, the thrill, the stress, the life I had. Maybe I am trying to remember as much as I can – to put everything into writing as part of my grieving. Maybe I am writing this as a tribute to the network, and in my best friend’s words, to honor my own growth.

 

CNN Philippines, along with all the people who worked behind it, is THE success story. 

 

I believe, God has already written me my next success story.

 

And I can’t wait to tell you about it.

 

 

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Onward and upward.

 

Erika Factor

Senior Executive Producer

NMC-0293

Life in limbo

JANUARY 24, 2024 | Wednesday

For over 10 years, I’ve done my job of telling other people’s stories.

 

Today, I write my own.

 

And I’d start by describing how my life currently feels like it's in limbo.

 

It was Monday afternoon. I was typing on my laptop faster than usual, eager to tell my work bestie everything I’d just heard. The click and clack on my keypad grew louder as I raced to finish each sentence before my brain jumps to another piece of information, fearing I’d forget in a second. Breathing became difficult by the minute, as if there was an invisible weight pressing down my chest. Heat surrounded my eyes and a lump formed in my throat. I reached for my glass of water only to find it was empty. Next thing I knew, I was gasping for air, crying. As far as I can remember, it was my first panic attack in post-pandemic times. Right there and then, I gave in to my feelings and thoughts – those worries and fears – that rushed to me all at once.

 

The 30-minute call I had with my other work bestie before I had that panic attack was not reassuring at all despite us dropping punchlines and laughing in between. I checked in on her (while I was crying) and she admitted that right after our call, she had to go back to her airconditioned room for some air – yes, she said that.

 

During that call she asked, “What now?”

 

“I don’t know,” I replied. 

 

All we both had were just speculations – that our company would shut down in a matter of days, that people in the newsroom are probably talking about it within their circles, that the upper management could be drawing up an irresistible severance package, and so on. There had been at least two rounds of layoffs in the past years, and I remember crying for workmates-turned-friends who never imagined the day they would be asked to leave. I can’t recall worrying about my fate during those times, but I do remember being thankful for being one of the long-tenured employees. 

 

It’s been nearly 12 years since I first walked into the office for an interview. I remember my would-be boss asking me about what I think a production assistant does. I would answer, trying to appear confident, that a P.A. helps complete tasks necessary for a production, someone who does a lot of walking and running from one place to another. He called me out and said I was wrong. He even threatened to contact my college professors and reprimand them. But who would have thought that years later, I would become an executive producer – for a primetime newscast anchored by a veteran journalist.

 

But this week, it hit me – this is it. I’m losing my job – a job I once dreamed and prayed for. A job that made me laugh and cry and drove me crazy. A job that I love and hate at the same time. A job that has sustained me. A job that, sadly, I promised I would escape very soon. 

 

Now that destiny has made it easier for me to quit… somehow, I want to turn back time and do it all over again.

 

And even if I feel like I am suspended in uncertainty, wondering what comes next and where my path leads… 

 

I’m left with no other choice but to pray for the best… 

 

to carry on… and to keep telling stories.

 

 

 

 

 

 ...and the stories must go on.

Looking for Peace

I want to clear my mind and find peace in my heart.

I want to silence the evil in me and in people unworthy of my attention.

I want to kill the twisted thoughts of immature people around,

whose lives are well wasted because of their nonsense principles.

Or we can just all go back to square one.

When things were still okay.

Oh nah! Forget it. I don't want them anymore in my life.

I want peace. And all I want is peace.

And I want to wake up one morning not remembering any of these.

At the break of dawn at the summit of Mt. Daraitan in Tanay, Rizal

Let's get drunk tonight.

Let's get drunk tonight, honey.
Cause it's cold and windy
Heaven is crying, the rain is falling
And I can't even count my tears.

It isn't a good poem to cap off my year
But what should I do? Why should I care?
Let's get drunk tonight, honey.
I only got words and a bottle of beer with me.

Random and senseless words you'll hear.
No burning, no screaming
No violence, nothing to fear
Only pain that'll cut you deep within.

Let's get drunk, baby. Sit right next to me.
Listen and hear me weeping
Make me smile and laugh with me
We'll turn around on bended knees.

*Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

I don't even know what I meant.
My mind's twisted, my words unclear.
But I hate you and I love you.
But I hate you and I love you.


Let's get drunk tonight,
Please dry my eyes.