I remember the summer nights I cried myself out when I felt doomed trying to cling on to the last twisted strings of hope I had. It was torturing to feel and to see that everything was falling into place for everybody else while I was left with no place to go, free falling from somewhere down to nowhere. I was choosy. So, I was jobless. Well, that was last summer.
Now, everything's turning just the way how I wished it to be. God heard me cry, I guess. The hands of His clock and mine finally synced. And I think God thought it was time for Him to let me taste the joy and pain of getting what I want.
And, heaven and hell it is! (Still, more of heaven, though.)
I have long realized how academic achievement gets to be somehow disregarded in a skills-oriented legwork job. It's like being under an agility test, and you have to beat your record every day, forgetting about how line x meet with line y in a tangent, or how our sensory neurons send information from our sensory receptors toward our central nervous system. Well now, it's logic, ethics, and physical education. And you have to earn your hundred points for it.
The thing I have encountered for several times is that, after graduating from a four-year communication course, I've been asked, "What's your work? What do you do?" And I, who is naturally talkative, couldn't explain it. It gives the feeling of exhaustion even without uttering a word to explain what a production assistant (P.A.) really does. I end up sighing, wishing it would simply explain it all. The work is just mentally driving. Collating scripts is not the only concern; but also, being pushed and shaped up to be more keen and enthusiastic with how, literally, EVERYTHING goes around the place. It is definitely physically demanding. And if other people complain of being tired, I am not an exception. I get tired too. (I actually always get knocked out on my bed upon reaching home.) But I always thank God at the end of the day for being tired because so far, such fatigue from work is a very fulfilling one.
No trace of complaint here. God knows how grateful I am for what I have and where I am right now. It's just that, my imagination of working for a battle-of-minds-and-clashes-of-ideas type of job where brain cells get crushed and drained in the production field, is not what I, in a hundred percent rate, exactly have as of the moment. At least, not yet.
Anyone who would dare undermine the job is stupid. It's no joke. I believe that people who know less have more to say. And this one goes for those people who know you on surface and who automatically expect this and that from you. Hey, if you think that this Magna Cum Laude turned to Magna Cum-Wari, what do you care? I have nothing to explain to you. I'm happy, and that's it. No other opinion matters.
The things I am learning from this phase of my life are the essentials. Aside from the ABCs of production, the valuable lessons beyond that are the priceless ones. Work Ethics is one big thing. Professionalism is a must. Hierarchy is important. Competitiveness should be a possession. Synergy is obligatory, but Individualism is also expected. Stress is given. Pressure is innate. Joggling them with both hands should be an automatic skill.
I have learned these things. And still, I am continuously learning. And I'm loving it. I have learned how to build good work relationships, amidst having chaotic and loud environment when times would require it. I have learned how to appreciate the people around me, upon discovering our differences, strengths, and weaknesses. Conflicts may arise at times, but all of us seem to know how to handle them well. You'll see the directors, and the producers screaming, reprimanding their people, and then suddenly cracking a joke, and laughing with them in a matter or seconds. You'll hear people complain, but then you'll see them happily eating lunch together after the strenuous airing. You'll see men seriously working, then restrainingly laughing over their own mistakes. You'll see writers facing their own computers, then joyously catching up with each other after work. These things make you feel that work is so much easier and lighter. Oh, God! How totally blessed I am with people and things worth appreciating!
I surely know that God put me to where I am supposed to be right now. It's His will and I am not to defy. I may not be shining for the moment. Others may see full potential in me, but I still need God to rekindle the flame within my soul in order to shine for Him in where I am and in my generation.
Last summer, working for any job just to be able to do away with time, was something I despaired about. But working for my dream was what I was badly desperate for to seize. And yes, I now have it in my hands. And it's even more than what I prayed for. From this point, it's all up to my feet to do the work in order to climb up and take hold of the moon.
Thank You, God.
I Love You. ♥
*article didn't go through proofreading na. antok nko sorry. haha*